The Touble With Texas

Well, it's over. College football has a new champion and it is fianlly...Texas. When you consider a few things about Texas, they sure have taken their sweet time to get there.

First of all, Texas is sooooo damn big. Did you realize that a flight from Lincoln to Houston is over Texas for almost half of the time? Did you realize that a flight from Austin to LA is about the same? Texas is massive. It's the land pig of America covered in bait and BBQ sauce.

Sure, there are other great universities in Texas. Smarties go to Baylor. Preppies go to A&M. Also rans go to Tech. People who like Chinese food go the Rice I suppsoe. But, Texas is still the BIG deal! There are over 50,000 students at Texas. Oklahoma is barely 20,000 and I think Nebraska is 28,000.

And some would say that makes it a little unfair when it comes to football. Football is different in Texas. I know, I lived there. My golfing buddy was God...Darrell Royal.

A kid who can play football in Texas is going to do just fine in high school. Trust me. A really good football player kid is going to do fine at A&M. But, the great football player kid is going to go to Texas and become a "horn."

That just is. Plus, universities from all over the country cross Texas day and night to pick off some good to great players to get them to come to wherever. Even Oklahoma.

The Texas trophy room is full of great honors and Heismans but they are a little short on fine crystal. Darrell won a couple when he was the head man but there hasn't been any since. By comparison, Nebraska has 5. That will give a Texan with a mouth-full of BBQ a spit hemorrhage.

Finally they won the big one. It was close. It was brutal. Nobody in the press thought they would win except Terry Bowden who had it almost nailed to the exact points.

Vince Young was incredible. Hopefully he will turn pro in the next 15 days so the playing field in the rest of the Big 12 can be level again. (Nebraska has to play both USC and Texas next year.) But have no fear, Nebraska is on the way back.

None the less, Texas is just too damn big. It needs to be whacked up some. Let's pass a law and create North Texas, East New Mexico, Southern Panhandle Oklahoma, and maybe, New Bevo. (That would be the turf down by the Mexican border.) If we whacked up Texas, we wouldn't have to listen to the downside of last night's long over-due win.

That would be the whooping arrogant Texas fans. Not Mac Brown. He's a good man and deserves this win.

For a long time, I had a t-shirt design that said:

Never have so many...
Done so little...
With so much...
TEXAS FOOTBALL.

Last night they finally did. Congrats Texas. The fat lady with the paralyzed hand finally sang.