The problem with the corn harvest

This is a beautiful time of year in fly-over country. It's the harvest. And as you fly across, maybe you have noticed the colors change from green to brown. The countryside looks like India during the drought part of the year. But in fly-over country, brown means only one thing.

Harvest.

The beans are already gone and the corn stands tall and ready for the combine to come along and pluck more of the stuff that the Farm Program is already buried in. Cows get excited as they see full wagons and big trucks of their favorite munchie going bye. (Beats watching empty cattle trucks coming back for sure!)

There is nothing quite like the sound of the rustle a dry field of cornstalks makes in the chill of the fall wind. The rustle talks to you. Go South now. The geese and birds listen. The people buy snowshovels and heavy coats and mittens and say they are ready for anything. Is that a genetic mutation or something?

But there is a problem in corn county. Cobs. The country is covered in cobs. Back in the days before indoor plumbing, they were close by the outhouse just in case company came and the Sears catalog was running a little thin.

But things have changed and there is no good use for cobs anymore. Farmers need some help or before long, the cob pile will be higher than the national debt.

Maybe Senator Hagel could help get some attention on the problem. He seems to always be around a television camera. But what could he really do? He has enough clout that there should be something. Let's see. Nebraska is on the way to Colorado. Colorado has mountains. Maybe he could get a bill passed that allows sneaky Mexicans to come to Nebraska on work visas to help build a giant cob mountain. Before long, the mountain would be covered in snow and Nebraska could pick off some of those skiers headed for Colorado. Heck, a mountain is a mountain and moguls made from potential Wheaties flake holders might have some marketing appeal. Just put it out there next to that tourist arch by Kearney. Tourists could find their way back from Kearney, go into that arch thing, and catch the cob lift on the other side. They could ski down the cob mountain and come out back at Kearney and be bused back to the car and be off to Colorado as soon as they could find their way back to the Interstate.

But some folks are going to fall and if you have ever had a nip of cob, you know they are not all that tasty. Maybe the Senator could work with the Senator from Hersey, Pennsylvania and get a bill passed to get all cobs covered in Hersey's chocolate. That would make them taste like an all-day Snickers bar.

But that's a problem, too. We don't want those cobs to last all day. We want them to go away.

Guess I just don't have a reasonable idea for what to do with the cobs. My ideas are just to corny.