It's here...Ugh

Ok, it's here. My least favorite time of the year. Winter. Ugh. In fact, double ugh. I hate snow and cold. Once you get by that first fluffy, pretty snow, it's well, just ugh.

Plus, it's "that" season. The season where you over-eat and over drink and well, fall over.

The older I get, the less I like this "festive" time. I am not festive anymore. I hate crowds. I hate small talk. I don't drink. I don't have a cool sweater and yuppie pants and cool shoes. I like jeans and t-shirts. I look like old jeans and old t-shirts with a bad attitude. Worst of all, my muscles and bones hurt from the cold. (They tell me that is especially true of former polio people like me.) Triple ugh.

I need to go somewhere warm and sunny. But, all of the warm and sunny places are destroyed this year. Hurricanes. Is that season over now?

I guess I could go to California. It's sunny. It's full of marachi bands. Maybe I could learn do a California triathlon...run through 100 yards of brush...scare a rickity fence...run across some open land...jump into the river and swim across...run through some open land...sneak around a dark green pickup...run into more brush...spike a bean burrito and give the touchdown sign.

The ground under me would tremble. Oh God. Earthquake.

I knew there was a good reason not to go to California.

So go ahead. Enjoy the snow and the cold. Go Grandma's house. Eat too much turkey. Eat an extra piece of pumpkin pie with Cool Whip on it. Drink too much. Fall over. Nap. Have left-overs. Nap. Eat some Tums. Drive home and half nap on the way.

After all, that's why all of those people are doing the California triathlon, isn't it?